This blog thing has started to slow down a bit. I just cant think of anything to write about. Is it because I am boring? Perhaps. Is it because the initial excitement of being in a new country has subsided? Perhaps that as well. Just like in the states, I have fallen into a routine: work, eat, sleep, repeat. My weekends are nice and relaxing, kinda boring/lonely though. There is no one to talk to ya know? There are a few fluent English speakers around but they are usually busy doing their own thing. I suppose that should be my motivation to learn the language, so I can more people to talk to!
Teaching at the highschool the other day I started my lesson with some slang. I talked about how the English they are learning is correct but the reality is that we don't really talk that way. "Hello Rob... How are you? .. I am happy, how are you....(robot voice). So I decided to lay some slang on them. One class really got into learning it all. I asked them to give me an activity that they like to do and I would tell them if there was English slang for it. I gave basketball = shooting hoops as an example. They gave me several activities; one of them was going to the"WC" (water closet, aka bathroom). I had to pause for a second and think about the appropriateness level of what I was about to do say to them. I picked a few relatively harmless slang terms for going to the bathroom: Going to the John, I got to take a leak, I need to pee.
Those were pretty funny to hear repeated in unison by 60 people. After everything I said I would glance over to the teacher to see if she understood me, she didn't seem to, although later in the class she stopped me and asked me to teach something else to get the kids actively involved in speaking or writing.
It might have been a coincidence or maybe the universe decided to play a joke on me but halfway through my first class I could feel the street vendor food I had for lunch doing some Tasmanian devil dances in my gut. Ok, I should front load that in public restrooms in China there are 2 things different. 1: squatter toilets (basically a hole in the floor) and 2: no toilet paper is provided, you are expected to supply your own. Guess who didn't have any of the latter?! This guy! I manage not to lose face in class even though I could feel my internal organs liquefying and once the bell rang I made the most awkward bee line in history to American Mike (who was there teaching also) to see if he had any supplies for me. He shakes his head no. I know what must be done. I keep a bandanna in my back pocket for my constant runny nose and now it is time for this ironically brown bandanna is about to pay the ultimate sacrifice. I thank you bandanna. Your sacrifice will not have been in vain. I have now told the story of your kindness to the world.
So, lesson learned. When you are out, ALWAYS carry some for of tp with you.
I'm wondering if I should blame the street food. I have eaten from this families cart several times and although they do give me indigestion, it has never resulted in a fill blowout.
Maybe I should give them a break for a week or two, or until everything mellows out downtown if you know what I'm saying.
We've named it the Chinese gyro: The wife cuts a piece of dough off of a bigger chuck and flattens it until is the size of a corn tortilla. She hands it to her husband who throws it on a huge frying pan type thing with some oil and begins to fry it. A few minutes later he flips the bread, tears a whole in the top later and pours in a raw egg, he lets that cook for a few then flips it again.
He then puts on the thinly slices marinated chicken and hands the fried bread back to his wife. With a paint brush she puts on 2 different spicy sauces and stuffs in some bib lettuce. When the chicken is finished the husband passes it to the wife and she puts it in the fried bread and drops in into a bag. 3 yuan.. about 50 cents. All the while their 4 year old son in a teddy bear outfit stands between them staring at you because he has never seen a westerner before. Good stuff.
That same day at highschool I had the chance to finally issue some English names to some of my students who didn't yet have one. This was exciting to me because these are the names they will be going by for the rest of their English speaking lives! I wrote the alphabet onto the chalkboard and had them pick the letter that they wanted their name to start with. Once they picked a letter I thought of all the English names I could that began with said letter. I only gave out a few, here they are: Mark, Hannah, Evelyn, and Sierra. They all seemed to be happy with their new names. Good times.
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